Sitting with Discomfort
- 6 hours ago
- 4 min read
By Tina Baxter, The Nurse Shark
If you lead in healthcare, you already know discomfort. You've felt it in a difficult handoff, a tense team huddle, a performance conversation, or the quiet moment after a patient's family asks a question you weren't prepared for. Most of us are trained to treat that feeling as a warning sign, something to fix, smooth over, or move past as quickly as possible.
But what if discomfort isn't the problem? What if it's the doorway?
Character and clinical growth rarely happen in the comfortable moments. They happen when someone holds up a mirror: a peer's feedback, a patient outcome that didn't go the way you hoped, a colleague's blunt observation. In that moment you have a choice, turn away from what you see, or lean in and ask what it's trying to teach you.
Discomfort Is Not a Diagnosis
When discomfort shows up, it's tempting to read it as proof that something is wrong with you, that you're not skilled enough, not smart enough, not ready for the role you're in. That's rarely the truth. More often, discomfort is simply pointing at an area that's still tender: a past mistake you haven't fully processed, a skill you haven't built confidence in yet, a blind spot you haven't had the chance to examine.
The next time discomfort shows up, after a difficult debrief, a piece of critical feedback, or a moment where you felt out of your depth on the unit, try sitting with a few questions instead of rushing past them:
- What am I avoiding in this moment?
- What can I learn from this?
- How can I do better next time?
- Where is there room to grow, in my practice, my communication, or my mindset?
Asked honestly, these questions turn discomfort from a verdict into a tool.
The Defensive Reflex
Healthcare is full of moments where someone says something: a charge nurse questions a decision, a physician pushes back on a care plan, a new grad points out something you missed. The instinct is to defend. It's a deeply human response. Nobody wants to feel criticized, especially in a profession where being wrong can carry real consequences.
But the defensive reflex, left unchecked, closes the door on growth. The alternative isn't to absorb every comment without question, but to pause before reacting, to treat the feedback as information rather than an attack, and to ask what it might be revealing that you hadn't seen yourself. Often, what stings the most is exactly what's worth examining the closest.
Lost in Translation
Here's a familiar scene for any nurse leader. You've prepared thoroughly, you understand your material inside and out, and you deliver it with confidence, only to look out at the room and realize people aren't following you. Maybe it's a new protocol you're rolling out to staff. Maybe it's discharge instructions for a patient. Maybe it's a clinical rationale you're presenting to a multidisciplinary team.
It can be a humbling moment to learn that the people you're speaking to didn't connect with what you said, not because they weren't capable, but because the way it was delivered didn't meet them where they were. Expertise can create its own kind of distance. The deeper your understanding of something, the easier it is to forget which parts of it are second nature to you and foreign to everyone else.
That discomfort, being misunderstood despite doing the work, isn't a sign you don't belong in the room. It's an invitation to translate your knowledge differently next time: less jargon, more plain language, more checking in along the way. "Does that make sense?" and "Are we on the same page?" are leadership habits, not signs of weakness. The goal isn't to perform expertise; it's to be understood.
Sitting Next to Brilliance
Every healthcare leader eventually finds themselves next to someone who seems to be operating on another level: the physician who seems to know everything, the colleague fluent in a clinical area you've never mastered, the mentor whose calm under pressure you can't yet replicate. It's easy to walk away from those encounters feeling smaller.
But brilliance in one person doesn't shrink your own potential. It just shows you where the bar is. The people we admire most still have to put on their shoes in the morning. Being early in your growth in some area doesn't mean you're incapable of reaching it; it means you haven't gotten there yet. That distinction matters, especially in a field where imposter syndrome runs quietly through even the most experienced staff.
Practice, Not Perfection
Growth rarely comes from a single dramatic leap. It comes from small, repeated practice: picking back up a skill you've let go rusty, returning to a competency you haven't used in a while, choosing to keep learning even when no one is watching or grading you. The discomfort of feeling behind in some area is often just the nudge that gets you to start practicing again.
A Different Relationship with Discomfort
None of this means healthcare leaders should go looking for discomfort or treat every hard moment as a hidden lesson. Some difficult moments are just difficult. But the next time discomfort shows up in a debrief, a hard conversation, a moment of feeling out of your depth, try not to rush to relieve the tension. Sit with it long enough to ask what it's pointing toward.
That mirror moment, uncomfortable as it is, might be exactly where your next level of growth is waiting. Take some time to explore these areas of discomfort. What insights did you gain and how can you take action today?
Nursing News
Two separate cases have made the news involving nurse practitioners and nurses allegedly billing Medicare for skin grafts and wound care services that were either not necessary or not actually provided. This is a larger issue when you begin to run healthcare like a business and neglect the focus on the patient. If found guilty, this a serious breach in nursing ethics. Nurses and other healthcare providers, need to educate themselves so that they do not fall prey to unscrupulous business practices. There are nurse business owners who are doing the right thing and strive to meet all the regulatory requirements. Before you sign that contract or agree to provide services, read the fine print. Have an attorney review it. Read the regulations yourself.
References:
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